Setting the Day for Your Big Day
It Is Your Wedding
One big mistake many engaged couples make is allowing others to be too involved in the process of planning their wedding. This becomes a problem when the others who are involved have strong opinions which do not accurately reflect the couple. The opinions of the others may begin to influence the plans for the wedding and will likely result in a wedding which is not indicative of the tastes of the engaged couple.
Perhaps one of the most difficult wedding planning situations occurs when there is someone other than the engaged couple who is paying for the wedding.
The reason why problems tend to occur in this type of situation is the friends or family members paying for the wedding, or contributing to the cost of the wedding, expect to have a say in the planning process. While it is certainly true that those paying for the wedding should have some say in matters that affect the budget, they should not expect to intrude on other aspects of the wedding planning. For example, given the size of the guest list, the people paying for the wedding may rule out certain locations for the wedding because they will be too expensive. However, where two locations are priced equally, the couple should be able to decide between the locations based on their own personal preferences.
Unfortunately, there are also many situations where the couple is paying for the wedding themselves but friends or family members are still intruding on the wedding planning process and trying to influence decisions. While it is easier in these cases to tell the friend or family member their opinions are not wanted than it is to do the same when the friend or family member is contributing financially challenging it can still create problems. The friend or family member’s feelings may be hurt and it can cause a serious rift in the relationship.
The best way to avoid this situation is to be clear from the start about the level of involvement you wish the individual to have in the process of planning the wedding.
If this is not done and the pushiness of the friend or family member becomes a problem it is best to deal with the problem immediately rather than harboring resentment as the problem escalates.
Still another situation in which an engaged couple may feel as though the plans for their wedding are out of their control occurs when the couple hires a wedding planner who is presumptuous and makes decisions without consulting the couple. This type of situation may also happen if the couple hires a wedding planner but does not speak up about their needs, wants, and expectations. This may be because the couple has a hard time speaking up, the wedding planner is overly pushy or a combination of the two.
Regardless of the cause of the problem, this is one of the easiest situations to handle. This is because the couple can fire the wedding planner if things are not working out. However, sitting down with the wedding planner and discussing the issues first is an idea. This way the wedding planner has the opportunity to learn what the problem is and attempt to correct the problem.
Finally, a couple should always be willing to do whatever is necessary to maintain ownership of the wedding plans if they choose to do so.
This may mean making some difficult decisions but it can also greatly improve the outcome of the wedding for the engaged couple. In a case where one set of parents or both parents are contributing to the cost of the wedding and being overly pushy about decisions, it may be worthwhile for the engaged couple to consider paying for the wedding themselves. The couple may not be able to have as elaborate as a wedding but in the end, they will be happier with the results if they are free to make all of the decisions during the planning process than they would be if they are being influenced by others.
Setting a Date for Your Wedding
Setting a date for the wedding is one of the crucial parts of wedding planning. Actually, this should be the first thing to be decided. Sometimes one of the hardest decisions a couple will have to make in regards to their wedding is the date for the wedding. The bride to be may eagerly blurt out yes when the groom to propose marriage. The couple may be positive they want to have their wedding in a certain location and the bride may have known what type of dress she wanted since she was just a little girl but picking a date for the wedding usually does not go as smoothly.
One of the problems many couples have in regard to selecting a wedding date is deciding on a season for the wedding.
This decision can be difficult because the couple has difficulty deciding what type of wedding they want.
One of the problems of some couples’ experience, especially couples with large families, is selecting a date which interferes with another family event or a holiday. Very large families seem to always have at least one family member who is having a birthday, anniversary or other significant events. Thoughtful couples will want to avoid allowing their wedding to overshadow another important event in the family. But if this is not possible, they should make every effort to minimize the impact on the other event.
Still, another problem couples may face when selecting a wedding date is pressure from friends or family members to select a particular date or time of year for the wedding.
This is most often likely to occur in situations where there is someone else involved in the process of paying for the wedding. This is because those who are involved financially may feel as though they have the right to influence these important decisions. In this situation, the couple will have to decide if they should pay for the wedding themselves so the other people do not feel this way.
However, there may also be situations where the other person attempting to influence the date of the wedding is not paying for the wedding and is not otherwise involved in the planning. The couple should consider the reason for the other person wanting this date but should not give in to this wish if they have valid reasons for selecting a different date.
Finally, one of the most obvious reasons couples have trouble setting a date for the wedding is one or more of them is having cold feet. This can be a difficult decision to deal with. Neither of them may realize this is the problem so they may continue to struggle to select a date. In this case, the easiest way to deal with the problem is to allow it to take its course. The couple will likely realize the wedding is not meant to be eventually and decide on how to handle the situation as well as the relationship. They may decide to postpone the wedding plans indefinitely until the relationship is more secure. Or, they may decide it is best to end the relationship. This is a very personal decision for the couple.
How to Choose a Wedding Date
Consider a special day for you and your partner.
Many wedding dates are related to a special day, like the first time you two met, your first date, anniversary or the first time you kissed. If you want a specific date, begin the planning and reservations.
Pick the season or the month which you’d like to do the wedding.
If you don’t want to do it on a specific day, then you can just think about your favorite times of the year. Like, is there any month or season of your favorite? The time of the year can affect your venue, wedding motifs, theme, the menu and even the gown of the bride. Once you’ve decided on spring, summer, fall or winter, you can narrow it down a certain month.
Pick the one with the least conflict and that best fits your specifications. Eliminate any days where the two of you will be busy or unavailable.
Each season invokes a different type of wedding. Deciding on the beauty of a spring wedding over the romance of a winter wedding can be a difficult decision. Couples should carefully consider the advantages and disadvantages of each season. They should make their decision based on which season would result in an ideal wedding for the couple.
Consider the day of the week.
Saturday is the most popular day to get married, and consequently it usually the most expensive time slot. Depending on the venue, you may need to pay a premium to reserve a spot on a Saturday. Many couples are choosing to marry on off-days: Fridays, Sundays, or even midweek. Being flexible about the day of the week can make your wedding much cheaper than it would be otherwise.
Research the weather.
Pay close attention to the weather seasons in the location of your wedding, like tornado or hurricane season. Tropical storms can really mess up your dream beach wedding. So you should consider picking a date outside of the peak storm season.
Decide whether you want an indoor or outdoor wedding.
This can affect the bride’s gown. If you want an outdoor wedding in the winter, then the gown should be appropriate for the weather. If it’s scorching hot, then it should be a cooler wedding gown.
Most important is to consider the budget.
It’s generally more expensive to get married in the summer than in any other season. June, August, and September are the most popular marriage months. Some locations—especially touristy destinations—may be busier, and thus pricier, during certain times of the year.
